Today marks lockdown day 64 for me having no physical interaction with anyone except my condo building security. I woke up this morning feeling unsettled and determined to do something.My instinct directed me to open my laptop and start putting words into this post.
At the beginning of March before the world entered a state of emergency, I was ready to buy equity into my next project. After 12 days into March, myself and many others halted our plans temporarily. All retail businesses, offices, and events closed. Public services were limited. Hospitals suddenly became the only place with heavy activity. Everyone was fixated on their media devices as a source of information, from social media, mass media news outlets, and group chats discussing what was happening locally to global. Many took advantage of the stock market instability, hoarding PPE products, and expressing political values and personal beliefs relating to Covid.
While I had no major obligations with work other than a few advisory meetings with the companies I have equity in, several former clients and constituents contacted me about converting their business online. I laugh as I aid because for so many years I have urged them to digitally convert their brick-and-mortar business. I would make quite a bit of money if I were still in the development business but I passed them off to former vendor partners and gave them an early Christmas.
While the work kept my mind occupied, New York City became ground zero within weeks where my extended relatives were impacted, losing two of them and one who recovered from medium care. While I personally wasn’t close with them, it was difficult to see how my family was emotionally impacted. My two uncles continued being ignorant to the risks of Covid exposure and breaking lockdown guidelines by going to work. My sister being a relief doctor at an emergency room hospital, my step-mom drafted to the national research team for Covid, my cousin aiding with PPE relief in a dense Manhattan hospital. Suffice to say, there is a bit of anxiety in the family.
I am wondering how I’ll interpret this period of history in the future. Will I look back at this post and laugh about how panicked we became, or will I reflect on how easy things were because life has changed so dramatically. I find myself thinking of Mark Manson’s book, Everything is fucked and I feel he was onto something when he spoke about how our generation is one of the more fortunate and cursed generations to never truly understand what it is like to not understand the notion of hope. With everything happening the way it is, our generation and the ones after us are a lost cause if we don’t understand the need to be more selfless and come together in getting through this, and coming out as better people.
