Like many during Covid, I haven’t been able to put myself in scenarios to meet other people since I have been single in the middle of the pandemic. I work from home and the only time I actually come into contact with someone new is at a grocery store or restaurant, but that may be inappropriate to hit on someone who is there for a purpose. Ergo: online dating.
While the intent of these tips and tricks aren’t the answers to you finding your soulmate (I mean great if you do), I just want to help y’all go on some star struck first date. If your sentiment is that online dating is working extremely well for me you and you’re meeting countless potential wives, you can stop reading.
If you feel like online dating is the bane of your existence because you get very few matches and even less dates, I’m here for you. Unlocking my secrets I’ve discovered between relationships for over a decade.
Know Your Odds
The idea of dating apps is great with its convenience in meeting people you wouldn’t normally cross paths while sitting on your couch. The trade off is the amount of time required to match with someone genuinely compatible. The important thing to realize is your odds of how many matches you need that will lead to a date, and how many dates you need to go on that will lead to establishing a genuine connection.
For example, Asians statistically have really bad odds in being selected on dating apps. So I have to “market” myself to appear more often than the average guy but I don’t know what the average is, so my personal baseline is for every 20 like/swipe I perform, I’ll get one match. For every 6 matches (most don’t reply), there will be one decent conversation where I’ll ask out a date. For every 2-5 matches I meet, I’ll establish a good connection with at least one of them. Now good connection doesn’t equate to ‘love at first sight’. It just means we can both be comfortable around each other.
Quality Not Quantity
Your profile is your first point of contact. Take good quality photos of yourself. I’ll leave this at that. This is something you’ll have to figure out.
Next are the captions. In my opinion, the most important part. My introduction would be along the lines of a clever quip everyone can relate to. For example, “Online dating is like a big party but no one wants to be here”
Then the following captions can be drilled down into specific interests, hobbies, beliefs, etc. If I got a message that sounded canned or didn’t refer to anything I wrote in my profile, I didn’t reply. Don’t only get caught up in your match’s appearance because trust me, the odds of that connection going anywhere are slim. This conditioned thought really helped me with completely shallow profiles and first date mistakes. What you’re looking for are a few quality matches in terms of conversation. Managing these conversations become extremely easy because you totally get each other.
Pay To Play
Pull out your wallet because paying for the dating app results in better results. At the end of the day, remember all these apps are a business. Like any business — when you pay, you get better service. You get more matches leaving you with good odds for the right potential suitors to see you.
You’ll typically see options signing up for one month, three months, and six months. You really only need one-month even if your profile is half decent. In one month, you should have a healthy number of matches. You have to find your threshold of how many conversations you can juggle, how many days you’re available to go on a date.
For example, I’m in NYC that has a large number of singles looking to date but also one of the busiest cities to date in. I work a full-time job that is also demanding after hours, I can only realistically manage three conversations at a time and go on two dates a week. Reverse engineering the example from ‘Know Your Odds’, this means I will have 15+ matches and I would need to like/swipe 300 profiles.
Because your matches are qualified, the odds of going on a second or third date with the same person are good. By this you hold these conversations and go on dates, more than one month will go by. So no need for more than one month.
Hope this help your quest to finding love. Make sure to invite me to your wedding if you do.