Last year, I foolishly thought I’d actually have a normal birthday because things would be back to normal, right? Wrong. No parties this year — that includes no weird social distance party. No drive-by birthday party. But birthday protests are cool.
The truth is I’ve never been excited about birthday parties, but I am with accepting gifts. Most people have no idea what to get someone turning X years old. So, let me help you out — here’s my birthday wishlist:
- Wear a mask. I’d be forever thankful if you just tried.
- Normalize poutine as the new age unhealthy staple in the US.
- Bring GOOD New York pizza to Canada and throw away their pizza bread they call pizza.
- Stop being a dick to immigrants or anyone culturally different.
- Prank your kids. If they cry, make sure it’s on video and send it my way.
- Remake Season 8 of Game of Thrones. We have time now. Please.
- Give landlords the right to destroy their own house to rid squatters because they’re worse than termites
Clearly I don’t take birthday’s seriously. Even during a year nothing’s going on with me directly. I make the most of any situation that will allow me to look back and know my year was not wasted. No one active in life should not mind time passing and getting older. It’s a privilege denied by many.