I wanted to write this personal log because I don’t think I’ll ever experience this again (I hope). You know those movies where you meet a lover while trying to survive a zombie apocalypse or armageddon? So cool right? But they never show you what happens to them after. Do they stay together?
Yes, relationships are not easy. Long-distance relationships are even harder. And then there’s the rare weird blend of long-distance relationships during Covid... which I went through. A challenge I would rank right up there with running a marathon with foot blisters while blindfolded. We didn’t choose it, but we didn’t back away from it either. We leaned into it, did the best we could, and carved out our own rhythm during a time when the world shut down. We saw and heard friends who decided to have babies, get separated, get into fresh relationships. We weren’t overly optimistic but we were confident in our conviction. We did the video calls that stretched late into the night, texting regularly to fill the void, and lots of laughter that traveled through a screen just as clearly as if we were sitting across from each other. It wasn’t ideal, but honestly I enjoyed every moment and it felt good enough for now.
Going on dates during the pandemic had its own unique tempo. Our relationship became a collage of ordinary moments. Falling asleep on face-time or calls. Randomly ending each other uber eats meals and gifts. We would go on formal dates where we’d get cleaned up or see her in her designer sweater with hair undone, sharing stories between looking for a new job. There was no gloss, no curated dates, no excuses to escape into distractions. What we had was stripped bare, down to the essentials: conversation, patience, and showing up consistently despite distance. It was intimate in a strange way. There weren’t big gestures but in the comfort of simply being present for each other. It was looking like we were going to survive the worst of the pandemic together.
But when the world finally started opening back up, our relationship didn’t. It ended. And the ending wasn’t cinematic or dramatic. There was no betrayal, no storm of arguments, no disrespect. It didn’t collapse under the weight of hatred or mistrust. In fact, if I were to look at us from the outside, I’d think we were doing fine. We cared about each other, still felt attraction, still laughed and teased and occasionally bickered like any other couple.. The problem was subtle, so subtle it’s hard to even call it a “problem.”
And the minute she brought up the idea of calling it quits, I quietly processed what she said, confirmed that’s what she wanted, and I quietly accepted. One small incident, something so minor it would normally blow over, became the spark that allowed us both to call it quits. It wasn’t about what happened at that moment. I’m not even sure but I think we were ready to call it quits and justin needed that push over the edge. Is this what it means to fall out of love?
I’ve replayed it in my mind more times than I’d like to admit because the ending still hurt. Did it have to end? Could we have recovered if I reached out or picked up that one call she made a week after we ended? The truth is, I still don’t fully understand what happened in the moment. We had the foundation. We had the care, the attraction, the respect. But what we both lacked was that next level of patience.Tthe kind of patience that stretches further than I thought was possible. I thought I was patient, and I still hold that ground. Maybe I’ll feel differently reading this in the future. But all I can recant is having more patience. She could have too. But in every relationship, someone has to take the lead. Someone has to say, “Wait. Let’s slow down. Let’s not let this one small thing decide for us.” Knowing her, that person should have been me. Not because I was at fault, but because it’s my role to deliver that message in our relationship. It’s the quiet work that doesn’t get attention but makes all the difference.
As time went by, I blamed myself less. Sometimes endings don’t have villains. Sometimes they’re just the result of two people missing a chance to choose more patience in the right moment. That’s the lesson I’m carrying forward. Patience isn’t passive. It’s not about waiting quietly in frustration. It’s active. It’s a choice to hold the space, to breathe, to give time for misunderstandings to settle instead of reacting to the first wave of tension. I’ve learned that patience isn’t just a virtue; it’s a skill that can save relationships from unraveling over things that don’t deserve to be deal-breakers.
Even with how it ended, I don’t regret the relationship. I shouldn’t.. It was playful, sweet, and filled with all the quirks that make love feel alive, even with the miscommunications, the apologies, the late-night calls, and the “what are you eating now?” check-ins. It didn’t last, but it mattered. It mattered that we made it through one of the strangest, hardest times in modern history and still found a way to create joy together. It mattered that we proved to ourselves that connection is possible, even across distance and uncertainty. And it mattered that I came out of it understanding something deeper about what it takes to make a relationship not just survive, but thrive.
In the end, it wasn’t the pandemic that ended us. It wasn’t attraction or care or respect. It was patience, or rather, the lack of just a little more of it.
Don’t get suckered – Basic guide to Cryptocurrency
April 24, 2021
IMage: https://live.staticflickr.com/7444/9956884654_1ea657e615_b.jpg
This is not financial advice. Do your own research and trade within your Iimit.
There has been so much buzz around Bitcoin and Cryptocurrency the past few months. When theres hype, there’s often a ton of misinformation. This post is to share my history and and help you dispel some of the nonsense. This is not a comprehensive guide, just something to address some of the recent ambiguous information I’ve seen on the market.
My background in cryptocurrency
My interested began in 2013 and between 2015-2017, I was a super active crypto trader. The contrarian in me loved it; I liked that it was a small community and everyone in the real world thought Bitcoin was a complete Ponzi scheme. Whether it was or not, I didn’t care. I liked the technological character behind Bitcoin. I was involved in so many areas from mining Ethereum with lessons from Michael Wuehler, I had my team build into the lightning network, I got burned on defunct projects. I was obsessed. I exited shortly after bitcoin first touched 5 figures and after that, every crypto was declining for like 4-5 months, and like anything I got bored and moved onto unrelated projects. I held my remaining crypto in a cold ledger and didn’t look back until Jan 2021 rediscovering what was junk crypto now a small treasure trove. Here’s what can I share from my lessons in the past:
Winning doesn’t make them experts
In a Bull market, almost everyone makes large, so they become self-proclaimed gurus or experts. Don’t believe most of the noise that comes out of them. Their aim is to make content to gain followers, investors, and build a name in the market. Some will go as far as making a ton of posts with every speculation, a few weeks later they’ll remove all the wrong posts and make an updated post referring back to the only correct post that wasn’t removed. Some will go as far as skewing the math on earnings in their screenshots by injecting more fiat (cash) to promote the crypto. What you can learn from the winners are the tools they use that help with speculation such as cross exchange trade for unlisted cryptos on the local trading desks. Use those tips to draw your own.
Trade within your means
I learned the hard way back in 2017 that trading crypto is more dangerous than trading in the stock market because I could trade 24/7 on P2P exchanges like Kraken and LocalBitcoin. I was staying up day and night when I was managing over 35-40 different crypto’s, making careless mistakes and missing orders.
I suggest setting a limit of how many crypto’s you can manage. While working full-time, my personal threshold currently is a maximum of 20 crypto’s with half being traded regularly. Get sleep so you can make smarter buys.
Splitting your portfolio
I haven’t heard any experts speak on this but most of your portfolio is holding and watching the pattern and fib retractment. You hold in confidence that the crypto project will gain interest and make some type of newsworthy breakthrough. My portfolio rule is 50% are long term lIke BTC, ETH, ETC. and 35% are short term. Note: I don’t park my crypto; I actively trade them. The last 15% are for Hail Mary’s for that wishful 100x gain. I don’t hold onto any of these crypto’s. I buy then sell, and move onto the next pump. Most of the time, I hold these cryptos for less than a day after doubling. Remember if that 15% is gone, it’s probably a sign you should quit and focus on the rest of your portfolio.
Not every loss has a lesson
Not all your trades will be gains or breakeven. Don’t get attached. Promising crypto projects and your hunches will be wrong at some point. I personally do not average down on a bearish crypto. I cut my losses and trade into something else and learn why that crypto or my trading method failed. Losing also builds tolerance to make objective calls in the future. The next time your hunch kicks in on a solid crypto, your emotions will steer clear and you’ll trade without hesitation.
Know what you’re getting into
Look for the signs of a long term project and a pump and dump. I’m not saying don’t get into the latter but it’s important to know how they work and when to get into them. Most pump and dumps have the following qualities:
– White paper usually plagiarized another project, so run it through a plagiarism checker;
– If charts have vertical lines at the early age;
– They don’t show verified bios of the creators or founders
I find pump and dumps can be fun but if you don’t get into what is called the pre-sale, you’re at odds to lose. Personally I have gotten them right 1 out of every 9 times. I have gotten in and exited in within a few hours after listing and doubled, which would rarely happen on a crypto project with merit. In 2018, EMC2 was getting some hype and my hunch told me that some traders will make the mistake and buy into EMC, so I bought into EMC and gained three fold in a day. Crypto is wild like that.
Here’s the mantra I want to leave you with
Understand fast money is measured in months and years; not days. Focus on the crypto’s fundamentals, technology, management, and influence. Develop the hunch that will lead you. Trade what you know and within your means. I hope this helps some of you. Feel free to shoot me a message with questions. I may or maybe not respond. Happy trading!
A message to ‘new’ AAPI advocates
April 30, 2021