I ran into another portfolio manager today with a pretty big ego in line at Blue Bottle. He was part of the ESG team on a different project and had been with the firm for 7 years. I don’t really know him but we’ve been in the same meetings. He’s like 5’6 with stocky build still wearing power ties like it’s the 80’s. He made a number of condescending remarks towards me, and although I didn’t expect it, I let them roll off my back because he’s a stranger to me. He then proceeded to give me unsolicited advice because I am still considered new after all. He talked about why he “picked up the game” so quickly and became a performer at the firm after moving to NYC... all because he has a degree in anthropology, which he believes gave him the edge. He started telling me about how it’s helped him with clients and dating in the city. Maybe that’s all true but it kinda made me laugh because I feel like I got the same degree for free just by growing up in New York City.
When I grew up in lower manhattan, I wasn’t just surrounded by people, I was immersed in cultures stacked so closely next to each other like every building in the city. A lot of it was surrounded by neighbors, every immigrant holiday festivals, restaurants, and going to school with a mishmash of cultures. My entire Chinese family receiving gefilte fish and pickled herring dishes from Jewish neighbors, hung out at the Italian club stoops, buying 25 cent freezies and red drinks at Dominican bodegas, attendingthe fun Puerto Rican block parties, getting yelled by my black friend’s mama’s for lighting firecrackers, watching the same mama go yell at the Russian uncle downt he street sold us the fireworks. ALL of this is crammed within five square blocks. My block alone was an open-air classroom in human behavior, rituals, and traditions.
It wasn’t like just the kids I interacted with. It was the parents and grandparents. I had to adapt. I picked up phrases in different languages, ate at everybody’s table, learned what respect and humor means in one household to another. I learned to listen before speaking, to find the rhythm of someone else’s comfort zone, and to read a room that might have ten competing energies all at once. Looking back, it was anthropology in real time.
Shaping me professionally
That upbringing turned into one of my greatest advantages. Employers and clients often wonder how I build rapport so quickly. Growing up around people whose personalities, values, and communication styles couldn’t be more different, I learned the patterns. I know how to adjust without losing myself. I wasn’t stereotyping. I was profiling with what I know in a manner I statistically had good odds of eliciting the response I wanted.
I’ve walked into boardrooms where half the table is detail-driven and the other half just wants the big picture. I’ve managed teams across markets where cultural assumptions clashed daily. My background taught me how to bridge gaps, not by forcing uniformity, but by finding common ground.
Shaping me personally
Having this knowledge definitely helped me make a lot of friends. Lately between Dallas, Toronto and Seattle, I was mostly hanging out with Chinese friends because that’s who gravitated towards me. But when I engaged other ethnicities, they were almost surprised by my knowledge of their language or culture.
Romantically, it’s had its own benefits. I have been in relationships and dated different skin tones under the sun. I don’t think it’s anything mystical. It’s just years of exposure to different ways of expressing love, conflict, or support. Being able to recognize when someone needs space versus when they need presence isn’t a trick or a guide to follow. It’s something I learned when I’ve seen hundreds of versions of what “care” looks like across cultures.
Why am I talking about this?
I love competition. It gives me so much euphoria. I’m a sales professional by practice. I am reminding myself that If I had to put it simply: New York gave me range. It gave me the ability to relate across boundaries without faking it. And in a world where success often comes down to how well you connect, whether with a client, a colleague, or a partner.
So while I don’t hold a formal anthropology degree, I will find a way to see if we ever be head to head on a project. One that will pay dividends in ways we could measure our ability.
New skill unlocked: Managing immigrant workers
July 2022