Since I’ve been in Hong Kong, I haven’t had much time to write in my journal. There’s been so much going on. It’s good stuff! I’ve been learning and absorbing. Processing personal thoughts before I put ‘ink to paper’.
I got a lot of questions over on this side of land compared to back home as a foreigner. Haha it’s weird to acknowledge myself as a foreigner. Suddenly I’m everyone’s tutor to improve their english. My answer almost always is listen and sing r&b songs, and start journaling. Yeah, even if it’s just one sentence that sums up a thought or an entire day. Start with something simple like, “Today I ate durian and I don’t like it. It smells”, and then start adding more context as vocabulary increases.
I started journaling because of a website called Asian Avenue. Like friends who followed, cared what I had to say. That lead to me writing on Xanga and Angelfire. Then ironically I went back to pen and paper when I started using notebooks to take notes for work with the beautiful discovery of moleskin notebooks., I’ve found that journaling just for myself has been one of the most valuable practices I’ve maintained in my life. As a result, it has developed an impressive following if I do say so myself. The power of journaling or writing a log isn’t in what I write today. For me, it’s what I’m going to read later.
The reason I think I write today is because I don’t trust my own mind. I know, it sounds crazy. Minds are so tricky. They edit, rearrange, and sometimes rewrite my own history without us realizing it. Looking back, I’ve caught myself recalling events or feelings differently than they actually happened. And those small distortions matter when you recall or use it as a frame of reference. IThey could shape the decisions I make in the present. Like do you trust a story you tell right now from 10 years ago, Erwin?
When I go back to read my own entries, I’m reminded not of the story my mind wants to tell, but of what I actually thought, felt, and feared in the moment. That kind of honesty is hard to find anywhere else. It’s not always glitzy or cool. Sometimes it’s dull and not very exciting
Some of my biggest decisions have been influenced by reading my own past writing. Seeing where my head was months or years ago gives me perspective I wouldn’t have otherwise. Sometimes it showed me patterns I’d been ignoring. Other times it reminded me of lessons I’d forgotten. It’s one thing to remember who you were. It’s another to read it in your own words.
Journaling is a way to stay connected to myself. I get caught up in the pace of work, travel, or change and forget where I came from sometimes. But flipping through my entries, I see a trail of growth – like a a map of where I’ve been and how I got here. It keeps me grounded. Even when I don’t feel like writing, I remind myself: this isn’t just for today’s clarity, it’s for tomorrow’s perspective. Mad wise right? See I won’t remember saying this tomorrow.
I will admit some of my entries are designed to publish, perform, and share because I do have a public domain. The best part is posting some of my entries publicly because someone out there might find it valuable. I sometimes write with someone specific in mind I want to speak to. I don’t have a big medium following or anything but there are a few people who find their way and stumble upon my entries. They’re usually new hires or if I’m single, women I am talking to who stalk my socials. My goal isn’t for them to have a sense of how I think and work because the mannerisms and attitude I display may not be inline with what they've read.
The thing is I don’t care if no one reads this stuff. I do it because it’s one of the few ways I can be honest with myself, without an audience. And that honesty has shaped more than a few important decisions in my life. When I look back and read the words of a younger me, I realize how much value there is in keeping a record of the past that is unfiltered, unedited, and real.
Also it’ll help if I ever develop alzheimer's, or end up with amnesia and go through a Jason Bourne journey, or my consciousness needs ot be uploaded to a robot.
What I learned in Hong Kong and entering China
January 19, 2024