I haven’t been invited to Shabbat in like 20 years. I went to a few when I was 9-14 years old because my grandparents would be working late and our neighbor was an older city court judge and his wife would invite me over to feed me. I recall the candles, prayer, and other small details but it was vague.
My boss invited me to Shabbat this week and I’m nervous. He is a quiet man. We’ve worked together for a while now, but I still don’t feel comfortable being sarcastic around him. I put on this militant act when he’s within 500m. I’ve heard him make ONE joke at an internal meeting. We didn’t react to it. But overall he’s a nice guy. Predictable. Consistent. Reliable. Disciplined. But still a mystery. I know so little that the invitation itself feels significant. I asked colleagues and other partners on what to bring, what to wear, how to act, what to say? Seeing their reaction was almost as surprising as the invitation. They were shocked because they told me only two others had ever been invited before. I thought, “perfect, I’ll go talk to them”, but apparently they both moved into senior management roles to other offices outside of the city.
But wait. That detail stuck with me. Why me? Why now? Is this about trust, a test, or some bigger decision behind the scenes? My mind is drifting to the possibility of relocation. Is this his way of signaling that my role might shift, that something is in motion? Or is it simply a quiet man extending hospitality in his own way? Now I’m even more freaked out. It makes it even more unnerving that some of these people have known him for 10+ years and never been to his home and I’m getting a window into a part of his world he rarely opens.
Maybe I”m getting fired. My next journal entry will be interesting if so.
Lesson 67: Go for the throat
January 24,, 2023