I read a news article on Sunday that teenagers today don’t go out and prefer staying home. Growing up in New York City, third places were everywhere. The cafes/bars, bookstores, malls, etc. Even the bodegas on every corner. The park bench where you could sit and people-watch for hours. They weren’t glamorous, but they were open, cheap (or free), and filled with life. You could wander into a café with five dollars, stay for a bit, and feel like part of something bigger than yourself.
Now, after being in a few different cities across the U.S. and Canada, I’ve noticed how rare those third places have become. Everything feels like it comes with a price tag. Want to sit in a coffee shop? That’ll be a latte and maybe a pastry if you don’t want the side-eye for nursing one drink for three hours. Community centers? So many have $20 entrance fees now for any activity. Bars? $20 a drink for casual hangs. Parks are still the last standing third place where there’s still a sense of open community hubs.
I know what you’re thinking: “Erwin, you can afford $20. Just pay the money” but what about people who are cool and don’t want to? For me, third places were where friendships formed without planning a calendar invite. Where conversations stretched longer than your attention span. Where you could run into a neighbor, a classmate, or even a stranger and end up learning something new. They gave the city texture and gave us a sense of belonging that had nothing to do with our paycheck or our productivity.
A lot of my posts often surround the subject of economics, and this is no different. Rents climb, businesses chase margins, and suddenly the cozy café or quirky bookstore is replaced by a chain with strict turnover targets. I fully understand KPI is a way of life for everything whether it’s for profit or not for. Our lifestyle is also to blame. We’re glued to screens and spend less time lingering in public. I’m guilty of this. And part of it is culture. Cities have become more independent with cultural identities, less communal. The idea of sitting somewhere just to exist feels almost indulgent now.
Maybe I’m overthinking this but without third places, wouldn’t we lose real life casual connection? Everything today is so charged on being intentional, scheduled, curated. I feel it most when I want to meet friends or coworkers without making it an “event.” There’s no easy gathering point, no neutral ground where hanging out because not everyone is comfortable with swiping a credit card to hang out. For younger generations, the lack of affordable third places means less unstructured social time, less community, and more isolation. So the article makes a good point and I believe this is one reason on top of many why that might be.
I don’t mean to sound overly dramaticI don’t think third places are gone forever, but I do think we need to fight to preserve and reinvent them. That means supporting public spaces, advocating and investing in affordable, community-driven businesses. It also means rethinking our own habits. Be ok with choosing to linger, connect, and share space without needing it to be polished or monetized. Sometimes these hangouts are gritty and not perfect.
Because if my youth taught me anything, it’s that life happens in the in-between spaces. And right now, those spaces are disappearing faster than we realize.
We won some award
September 14, 2023