Last year, I foolishly thought I’d actually have a normal birthday because things would be back to normal, right? Wrong. No parties this year – that includes no weird social distance party. No drive-by birthday party. But birthday protests are cool.
I’ve never been excited about birthday parties, but I am OK with accepting gifts. Most people have no idea what to get someone turning ?? years old. So, let me help you out. Here’s my birthday wishlist:
Wear a mask. I’d be forever thankful if you just tried.
Normalize poutine as the new age unhealthy staple in the US.
Bring GOOD New York pizza to Canada and throw away their pizza bread they call pizza.
Stop being a dick to immigrants or anyone culturally different.
Prank your kids. If they cry, make sure it’s on video and send it my way.
Remake Season 8 of Game of Thrones. We have time now. Please.
Give landlords the right to destroy their own house to rid squatters because they’re worse than termites
Clearly I don’t take birthday’s seriously. There’s already too much going on in the world for my birthday to matter. I’m trying to make the most of the situation so that I can look back that is more meaningful than an uncelebrated birthday. People who seek to create moments should not mind the passing of time and getting older. It’s a privilege denied by many.
Apparently ‘nothing’ can be valuable now
March 5, 2021